Today marks one year since Micah and Noah had their initial spine surgeries. It’s been a joy to see them walking, running, playing, and just being boys. Although they’ve lost some of their mobility, they’re learning new ways to accomplish most day-to-day tasks. The prayers of so many carried us through those early days and the entire year of recovery. We are forever grateful.
As we step into a new year, my heart is drawn to a special room. It’s not decorated with the newest gadgets or the latest fashion fads. Instead, it’s filled with portraits of prayers, dreams, thoughts, and worries. It’s not a room where family, friends, or acquaintances enter; instead, it’s a room designed just for me. I go there often these days, sitting quietly whispering prayers and seeking answers. It’s where I went when my father died and I didn’t understand why. I visited it regularly throughout the days, months, and years when the boys were losing more and more feeling in their legs. I’ve visited often this past year when friends and family died as a result of the pandemic. My health challenges since hitting my head so violently in China when we went to get our youngest have taken me there as well. The list is endless, but if I could wallpaper the walls in my room, they would be filled with the things I know to be true about my Savior. The lettering would be bold and the words life-changing. It’s peaceful in this room, and often quiet; except when I cry. Its floors have absorbed many tears, and the one chair in the middle of the room beckons me to come and sit. I call this room my “Sovereignty Room.” My Sovereignty Room was not created to escape reality. Instead, it was created to remind me of the One whom I’m here to serve. It’s a room where everything I know to be true about God is rehearsed. It’s a room where I can lay at the feet of Jesus all my cares, worries, and pain, and the things for which I have no answer, no understanding, and no hope. It’s these moments of recitation of who God is, and the truths I know are absolute, where I find peace. I don’t often leave with answers, but that’s okay, because I am reminded Who is in control.
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Joshua 1:9
I’m sure by now you’ve realized that my Sovereignty Room isn’t a physical room, but it’s a room designed in my heart. It’s in this room where I remind myself of the following:
God loves and will always love me, He is in complete control of my life and those I love, He has a perfect plan, He’s not worried about anything, He knows the path that I take, He’s doing everything for my good. He loves me more than anyone, and whatever He chooses to do in my life, He’s trying to mold me into the person I was created to be. I trust Him completely with my life and those I love. God is sovereign! He’s Alpha and Omega. He’s knows my past, present, and future . . . I remember He’s already there!
My Sovereignty Room gives me the gift of perspective. Perspective is the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance. Isaiah says it best:
To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth. Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:25-31
God has a plan, and it’s a perfect plan for my life. I simply need to stop, drop, and roll. STOP looking at the world through my eyes and try to see things from God’s perspective. I can’t do that unless I DROP to my knees and ask for His help in impossible situations, His comfort when I’m overwhelmed, and His peace when situations seem impossible. Then I need to ROLL up all of those doubts, fears, pain, and hopes and cast them on Him, because He cares for me.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
I Peter 5:6-7
Just the Right Size 